This is the first edition of our monthly newsletter for encouragement and inspiration.  It seems appropriate to begin with "why Isaiah 61?"  The simplest answer is that it was inspired by God, but there's more to it than that.  This summer, at the Ministry Training School, sponsored by Encounter Missions International , we were given the opportunity to shout out what our calling is.  This was explained as not being our job or our ministry, but the purpose for which we do what we do.  Our ministry is the means by which we fulfill our calling.  For example, a person's ministry might be intercession, but their calling might be something like bringing healing to the chemically dependent.  Now, my ministry is comprised of many things - I am a worship leader, a care group leader, an evangelist (those who know me are giggling right now), but my calling is both all and none of those things.  What I shouted out at that MTS was "breaking bondages and bringing freedom."  And it surprised me.  Not in a big way, because it makes sense to who I am as a person, but I know that I didn't formulate before I said it, it just came out.  And when God gave me a name for one of the channels by which I would fulfill that calling, "Isaiah 61," I read it and saw that breaking bondages and bringing freedom is one of the major themes in Isaiah 61.  Just look at verse 1 - "The spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners."  I encourage you to read the whole chapter, because I believe there is something in there for everyone, and God will speak to your heart as you read it.  Next month we will look at this chapter in greater depth.  Blessings in Christ!

"The spirit of the Lord is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me; he has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed, to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and release to the prisoners; to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor."

This passage from Isaiah 61 is echoed by Jesus in Luke 4:18, at the beginning of his ministry on earth, and he proclaimed, "Today, this scripture has been fulfilled in your hearing."  What does this tell us about Jesus' ministry, and how God views us?  Throughout Jesus' ministry, we see him continually doing two things: preaching the good news of the kingdom of God and healing the sick and/or casting out demons.  In the book of Acts, this mission is continued by Jesus' disciples.  I believe this is significant, because if God intended for our salvation to culminate with our faith in Christ, Jesus and the disciples would have had to preach only.  But salvation encompasses more than that.  It literally means to be made whole.  That involves our whole being - our spirit, our soul, and our body.  The good news that Jesus brings is that God favors us, and wants us to be free, healed, and whole.  This passage in Isaiah is not speaking only of literal captives, and literal prisoners.  The word "oppressed" means afflicted as well, and "prisoners" actually means those who are bound up.  I can believe that does not pertain to me, until I check my tension level!  You see, there are those who are imprisoned to an institution, those who are taken captive by an army, and there are also those who are imprisoned by fears, or captive to an addiction.  The miracle of salvation encompasses all of those things, and it continues until we are completely transformed into the image of Christ.  Whether you are just beginning your walk with God, or have been walking with God for many years, know that  "the one who began a good work in you will bring it to completion by the day of Jesus Christ."

God, I pray that if there are any reading this who have not tasted your miracle of salvation, that you would make yourself known to them right now.  Show them your love for them and let them begin to feel the freedom that comes only from you.  I pray that they would begin to seek you out, and not stop until they know that they have found you.  I pray that their lives would be transformed by your power, and that healing would begin in their lives.  I pray also, God, for those who have read this and felt a tug in their spirit.  They know that although they are walking with you, they are not completely free.  God, surround them with your love and peace, and may your Holy Spirit begin to reveal those areas in which they are bound up.  Let us not run from your Spirit, but open ourselves to you, knowing that you love us and want only the best for us.  We give you permission right now to set us free.  We repent of the poor choices we have made that have held us in captivity.  Forgive us, and free us now, Lord.  Amen.

"An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.  Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord.  This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'  Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying,  'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favor rests.'" - Luke 2:9-14

In this season, let me simply offer this prayer of peace:

Lord, I pray that each of us will be able take time from the plans and preparations to ponder the tremendous gift that you gave us in Jesus Christ.  I pray that in homes where there has not been peace, but where there has been division and rejection, that the words of the angel will ring in our spirits - peace on earth!  I pray that your light will shine in those homes, and that your good news of reconciliation would penetrate hearts.  Lord, begin to tear down the walls that separate families.  Let us see in the Christ child the true innocence we all possess, and let us know this year that we are all your children, dearly loved.  God, mend the hearts that have been broken by Christmases past.  May future Christmases be filled with joy and miracles.  May the day grow ever closer that there will truly be peace on earth.  Thank you God for your gift of peace through Jesus Christ.  Amen.

God spoke to me through an experience I had some months ago about the way God works.  I was sitting at the beach, and I saw a fish jump out of the water, maybe twenty feet from the shore.  I had never seen anything like that, and I was fixated on that spot, wondering if I had imagined it.  I kept looking to see it again, which, of course, was silly.  That's when God spoke to me (not audibly, but more the way one would recollect a conversation with a friend.)  God said, "You won't see that fish again.  That fish is long gone by now.  It's like blessings...there are millions of them out there, but they're quick, and if you blink you might miss them.  People keep staring at the same spot, expecting a blessing to come in the same way and the same place as the last one did.  But they don't work that way, and when you expect them to, you miss the millions of other potential blessings that might come in different ways or places."  I sat pondering that for a while...and then, I saw another fish...in a different place.

Sometimes when we see God work in someone else's life, we might expect God to work in our life that same way, and wonder why he doesn't.  Why did so-and-so get a job right after they were laid off, and I don't have one yet?  Why was that person healed instantly, and I still have to take my medication?  Let's look at some examples of that from scripture...

In Matthew 8:1-4, Jesus instantly healed a man who had leprosy, but in 2 Kings, chapter 5, Naaman's healing required that he immerse himself in the Jordan river seven times.   In Mark 10:52, Jesus healed a blind man by his words alone.  In Matthew 20:34, Jesus touched the eyes of a blind man, and he was healed instantly.  In Matthew 8:22-26 Jesus spit on a man's eyes, then touched them, but the man still did not see clearly.  When Jesus laid his hands on the man's eyes again, his vision was completely restored.

When I look at these examples, and the examples in my life and the lives of those around me, I see that God treats each person as an individual.  Jesus most certainly could have healed everyone instantly.  And if Jesus does not heal instantly, I believe the reason lies more with the healed than the healer.  Not necessarily because of a lack of faith, although scripture tells us that that can be a factor, but I believe it is because God wants only the very best for each of us.  And because of that, the way healing comes about may need to vary from person to person.  A person who is healed instantly can testify to God's miraculous power.  A person who is healed over time can testify to God's faithfulness, and can support others who are undergoing the same suffering.  I can say from my own experience that I am thankful to God for the times that God has brought healing miraculously and instantly.  But I am also so very grateful for the healings that have been a process, because there is such great joy in being able to encourage others who are in that same process.

In the case of Naaman, his external symptom was leprosy, but perhaps his true "disease" was rebellion.  Had God healed Naaman's leprosy instantly, Naaman's pride and rebellion against God might have continued indefinitely.  But we can imagine that as Naaman dipped the first time, his disobedience began to dissolve.  The second and third times, standing there soaking wet, his pride slowly dripped off of him.  About the third or fourth time, his rebellion may have wanted to shout, "Surely this is enough!!"  But no, he was not yet healed.  Only when he had fully obeyed could his rebellion be drowned in those waters.

Instead of being disappointed that our blessing hasn't come the way we expect it, or in the same way as someone else's, lets expand our vision.  Let's be willing to receive whatever God has for us, in whatever manner.  Oh, and don't blink!  Your blessing may be just beneath the surface, ready to leap out at you, if you're ready to see it!

Have you been finding your blessings?  I have.  And I've been so busy finding them it's been three months since our last newsletter - can you believe it?

Joyce Meyer, an inspiring teacher and speaker, said once that if God has called you to do something, you can be sure that God will give you all the time, money, and resources you need to do the thing that God has called you to.  Many times, God will say to us, "I want you to..."  and we will reply (often without hearing the task) "I can't, because..."  But, you know something?  The Bible is full of people just like us who were given seemingly insurmountable tasks by God, and they succeeded.  Sure, they stumbled, and sometimes it seemed they had failed.  But they were able to persevere, because it was God's idea, and God was in it from start to finish.

Let's name some names...in Exodus 3 we find the story of Moses being asked by God to go to deliver God's people from Egypt.  The next thing we find is Moses' litany of excuses why he couldn't possibly do it.  But, only a few chapters later, we see over six hundred thousand people following Moses out of Egypt.  And it wasn't because of Moses' fancy words or bargaining skills.  It was by God, because when God wants a job done, God does what it takes to make it happen.  All that was required of Moses was availability and obedience.

In the book of Nehemiah, we see the story of a man who was called by God to return to Jerusalem from Babylon and repair the city walls.  Again, one man against a daunting task.  This man was a slave who had to ask permission from a king to take a leave of absence for this journey.  He not only got permission, but also an army, horsemen, and wood for the gates.  Through the power of God and this man's leadership, the entire wall was completed in 52 days!

Finally, let's take a look at a bunch of rag-tag fishermen who were given this lofty assignment by Jesus, "Go then, and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit; teaching them to obey all the commands which I have given you."  How do you think these men felt about the part that says, "all the nations?"  Keep in mind that this was a time period in which there was no mass transit, and no mass communication.  If you wanted to get somewhere, you could take a ship part of the way, but the rest was by foot or animal.  And once you got there, you couldn't just rent a billboard or rent studio time at a TV station.  You couldn't send a message to the entire world while sitting at home the way we can now.  You would have had to just talk to people, one at a time, or find a nice rock to stand on and start shouting.  Oh, and by the way, you can't speak their language.

I think I know what some of our tendencies might have been.  One of us would have gathered the others around and said, "Ok, we need a plan...Thaddaeus, you've always been good with your studies, so I want you to high-tail it  to Athens and start taking foreign language courses.  James, you go with him so we'll have at least two people who can translate.  While you're doing that, Matthew and I will start raising money for boat fare.  The rest of you, well, I guess you should just start talking to people here."  Meanwhile, one of the men would have quietly disappeared behind a bush, frightened and resolved that there was no possible way this could be accomplished, so why try?  Yet another would be silently asking himself, "I wonder if all means all?"  At that moment, one might speak up, "Your plan's not so bad, but why not just appeal to the government to help us?  Think about it - they've got entire armies at their disposal.  I know it might take some time to convince them, but once they understand the importance, how could they say no?"  And another replies, "Have you lost your mind?  Wasn't it the government that crucified Jesus?  What do you think they'll do if we give them another shot at his disciples?"  And it could go on and on.

That's our nature.  But what did the disciples do?  They obeyed Jesus, by waiting and praying.  What!?  You've got a job to do here, boys!  Snap to it!  No.  They waited and prayed, just like Jesus asked them to.  And then, one day, they were given the miraculous ability to speak in other languages, and the boldness to do it.  So that's what they did; they started right where they were and began preaching the gospel in other languages.  And on this particular day, it so happened that there were thousands of people from other countries gathered together to hear it.  Not because a disciple with the gift of administration had sent out heralds to invite them all.  They were already there, because God planned it that way.  In the course of a few hours, God took those few rag-tag fishermen and added another three thousand people who could already speak the languages of the nations, and they probably already had return fare back home.

I'm sure, after all this, you're hearing the message.  When God gives us something "impossible" to do, we don't have to worry about how it will get done!  Rest assured that if God is inviting us into the project, all the other steps are already in place.  God's just been waiting for us to be ready to say, "Yes."

Have you ever thought of love as being dimensional?  Dan Fogelberg did when he wrote, "Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean, higher than any bird ever flew, longer than there've been stars up in the heavens, I've been in love with you."  But his thought was not original!  The words he wrote could well have been sung from the mouth of God to us.  The apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 3:17-18, "And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ"  Centuries ago, Paul wrote about God's dimensional love, which has been in existence far "longer than" Dan Fogelberg'ssong.  What an interesting way to speak of love, as if love were a tangible object one could measure.  We hear people say "the love of God is immeasurable."  But if that's true, what is it Paul wants us to understand?  I think it's not so much that God's love cannot be measured, but that when it is measured by human standards and implements, it's off the charts!  Let's see if we can't begin to grasp it anyway...

How wide?
Think about some things that can be wide - doorways, walkways, roads.  The wider something is, the more people it is able to accommodate.  When I think of God's love being wide, I envision a love that can encompass all people.  It's a love that is far wider than ours often is.  Our love might exclude people we don't understand or don't trust, or we just don't get along with.  But God's loving arms are big enough, and God's embrace is wide enough to encompass the whole world.  And when I think about that, I realize I need to be asking God to widen my love.  If I don't, when God gives us all a good squeeze, I may find myself nose to nose in God's embrace with someone I've deemed unlovable!

How long?
Definitely longer than there've been fishes in the ocean!  God put those fishes there for our benefit!  Jeremiah 31:3 says, "I have loved you with an everlasting love."  Have you ever thought about that?  Most parents love their children even before they're born, but God began loving us long before we were even conceived, and God will continue loving us long after our bodies die.  God will love you when you're 64, or 164!  And when I think of length, I think not only of time, but also the extent of God's love.  God's love for us covers us through any age and any season.  When we're close to God, when we're not, when we're growing, when we're regressing - God's love still reaches out to us.

How high?
High love is pure and unselfish love.  God's love is higher than our love.  It is high enough to forgive when we don't really deserve it, and not ask anything in return.  How wonderful that our God loves us, not because of our goodness, or our sacrifice, or because we loved God first.  God's love rises above any of our efforts to earn it or improve upon it.  It simply can't be done.  God loves because God is love.  That is God's nature.  How wonderful it would be if we could learn to love with even part of the purity and unselfishness that God does.  Can you imagine not just loving, butbeing love, right down to your very core?  Praise God that little by little, we are being transformed into his likeness.

How deep?
Depth refers to the intensity with which God loves us.  Here are just a few of the passages that describe the depth of God's love:

And [the Lord] passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin."  Exodus 34:5-7

"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you!  See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."  Isaiah 49

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.  Your righteousness is like the mighty mountains, your justice like the great deep. O LORD, you preserve both man and beast.  How priceless is your unfailing love! Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings.   They feast on the abundance of your house; you give them drink from your river of delights.  Psalm 36:5-8

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life."  John 3:16

But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Romans 5:8

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.  Romans 8:38-39

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
1 John 4:10

This is just a sample of the verses describing God's love for us.  I pray, along with Paul, that you would have power to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is God's love for you.  Most gracious God, give us a new revelation of your love for us as individuals.  I pray that your Spirit would begin to sing love songs over us, and that our spirits would listen and respond.  Lord, where the enemy has entered in and tried to narrow our perception and understanding of your love, I pray that you would close those doors and silence those words, and that the healing power of your truth would begin to penetrate those areas.  God, give us the power to grasp your love.

I want to tell you all about a miracle.  It isn't the kind of miracle that conjures images of missing hands being restored,  or people rising from the dead.  This miracle involved traffic delays, spilled milk, and souvenir shopping, but I think you'll agree it's a miracle none the less.

Recently I had the opportunity to travel to Toronto, Canada with some friends.  While there, we decided to make a trip to Niagara Falls, which is nearby.  That morning, we ran into heavy traffic on the only road we knew of that lead to the falls, with no way to turn back or detour.  We discovered later that four lanes of traffic had been diverted and merged onto the shoulder, so road crews could clean up the mess of an overturned dump truck.  This delayed us at least an hour, maybe two.

When we arrived at the falls, we spent time marveling at the beauty and power of God's wonderful creation.  We decided not to do all of the things we had planned, but rather ventured over to the U.S. side.  We chose to take the bridge that was described as having no delays.  Yet, once again, we were faced with three lanes of traffic trying to cram themselves onto a one lane bridge, with no traffic signals or direction.  This probably delayed us another hour. Does it sound like a miracle yet?  No?  Keep reading…

When we arrived in Niagara Falls, New York, we were perplexed by a parking garage that indicated most of the spaces as “no parking” and had signs on the doors warning they would be locked an hour from the time we got there.  So, we drove around and down to the gate, where we expressed our confusion to the attendant.  She assured us that it was all right to park there, so we whipped back around and pulled into a space.

On our way to the falls, we discovered more opportunities for souvenir shopping, so we spent some time on that, and then finally made our way to the visitor center.  Of course, by that time, we were getting a little hungry, so we stopped for a snack.  But before we could place our order, the frazzled clerk was disrupted by a person who wanted sugar, and wanted it right then.  After that, another person came up wanting milk for his coffee.  When he got the pitcher, it was so full that when he screwed the lid on it spilled all over the counter and the floor.  Feeling terrible for the clerk, we wiped off the counter, secretly hoping that the man would take our cue and clean up the floor.  Alas, by the time we'd finished our snack, the milk was still there on the floor.  So, we wiped it up.

I know - you're thinking, so where's the miracle?  It's in everything that happened to us that day.  Every minute of that day was precisely planned, from the blocked highway to the spilled milk. Because what happened next made every bit of it worthwhile.

When we got to the place where we could see the falls well, we were out on a bridge over the river.  I looked down, and noticed that there was a man below us on the edge of the cliff, on the wrong side of the guardrail.  Once I absorbed the scene, I realized that he was planning to jump.  There were police everywhere, which we hadn't noticed before, and a person talking to the man from the other side of the railing.  Suddenly, we were compelled to pray.  I can't remember when I have prayed so hard or so earnestly.  In my spirit, I knew that we were supposed to be there - we had been assigned by God to intercede for that man.

After a great deal of hesitating, pacing, and crying, the man finally climbed back over the railing and surrendered himself to the police.  The crowd applauded, and then dispersed.  It suddenly seemed that the only people there were that man, my friend, and I, reeling from what had just happened, and exhausted from the battle in the heavenly realms.

As we left the bridge, I began to marvel at all the things that had to go "wrong" in order for us to be there at the "right" time.  Although I knew that God would have cared for that man had we not been there, I still had to ask myself, "Why us? Why there? Why then?"  It is possible that we were the only two people on that bridge who were praying instead of snapping pictures.  I realized that God had created miraculous delays on that man's behalf, ensuring that enough things went wrong so that two servants would be in that place at that time to intercede for him.   Sometimes, when things go “wrong” in our lives, it is so God can bring about a very big “right.”

A similar miracle occurred in 2 Kings chapter 7.  The city of Samaria was suffering a severe famine, yet the prophet of God had promised that within one day there would be an abundance of food.  But the leaders of the city just scoffed at the prophet.  Had they heard the rest of the story, they might have scoffed even more, because the Lord was planning to bring about this “right” through some people for whom everything had gone "wrong."

Imagine if you will that inside the city walls, people are selling food we would consider most unpalatable, for outrageous prices.  People had even resorted to cannibalism.  That's inside the city, where at least there is some semblance of food available.  Now look outside the city.  There, beyond the wall, sitting near the gate, are four men, baking in the desert sun.  Outside the city, there is no food at all.  Outside the city, even the dirt must have looked appetizing.  Why were these men outside?  Because they had leprosy, a disease  considered to be highly contagious, so much so that those with the disease were required by law to remain separated from other people.

As if the famine inside the city was not enough, there was something else going on outside.  There was war.  So here were four men who had at least four ways to die that day.  From starvation, from disease, from heat exhaustion, or from a soldier's spear.  Could anything more go wrong for these men?  Having nothing else to lose, they opted to throw themselves at the mercy of the enemy soldiers, knowing the worst that could  happen is that they would die, but there was a possibility that they would be spared as prisoners.

Look what happened next:  "At dusk they got up and went to the camp of the Arameans. When they reached the edge of the camp, not a man was there, for the Lord had caused the Arameans to hear the sound of chariots and horses and a great army, so that they said to one another, 'Look, the king of Israel has hired the Hittite and Egyptian kings to attack us!' So they got up and fled in the dusk and abandoned their tents and their horses and donkeys. They left the camp as it was and ran for their lives.  The men who had leprosy reached the edge of the camp and entered one of the tents. They ate and drank, and carried away silver, gold and clothes, and went off and hid them.”  After the men had their fill, they went back to the city to tell them the good news, and the whole city ate and drank that day.

Let me ask you...what might have happened to the people of the city had those men not been in the "wrong" place at the "wrong" time?

God, sometimes our vision is so small when our lives are in such distress.  Sometimes, we even feel that you are punishing us when things go wrong in our lives.  Please, God, reach down to us and pull us up out of that place.  Pull us up higher where we can see that there just might be a greater purpose for our  suffering.  Help us to pray that no matter what our circumstances, you will use them to put us in right place at the right time.  Use us and use our circumstances to help someone else.  We surrender to your perfect will.

God and I have been having some talks about the armor of God, found in Ephesians 6:

"Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

The first thing I notice is that this passage refers to “the full armor of God.”  It does not say “the armor of Cathy…”  It also does not say, “the armor that's worked well for you so far…”  In using the phrase “the full armor of God,” the scripture tells me that this armor belongs to God, and comes from God.  One author deftly put it that when we are wearing this armor, as far as the enemy is concerned, we look like God – we could very well be God – we are wearing Gods armor.  And the enemy thinks, I'll steer clear of that one!

The Lord showed me that because it is Gods armor, God must be the one to give it to me and clothe me with it.  If I try to do it by myself, it is too heavy and cumbersome for me.  I do not even fully understand the armor, so I can't try to put it on in my own understanding.  Have you ever seen a child play dress-up and not quite get it right?  They might end up with socks on their hands or pants on their head.  If a soldier did that with their armor, imagine how silly they would look!  But worse, the armor would not be doing its job.  Because this armor belongs to God and comes from God, we must entrust God with showing us how to wear it.

Some of us put on the armor of God every day, and some of us put it on when we think we'll need it.  In regard to that, I heard a teacher recently ask, “Why did you take the armor off in the first place?!”  Good point!  Aren't we constantly in a battle?  Doesn't the Bible say that the enemy is constantly prowling around, seeking someone to devour?  We really should have the armor on continually, shouldn't we?  Once I realized that, I asked God, “Is there anything else that we need to do?”  God said, “Yes.  You must inspect the armor.”

Why do soldiers have inspections?  While on the surface it may seem it is only to fulfill their sergeants' quest for power, I think there's really a higher purpose.  If a soldier is prepared for inspection, it also means they are prepared for battle.  When the call comes to “move out,” they do not have to run around the barracks searching for their gear.  It is where it belongs.  And they do not have to worry that when their weapon is put to the test it will fail them.  They have dismantled, cleaned, inspected, and re-assembled that weapon day after day.  They know it inside out, and they know it is in working order.  So what about your armor and your weapons?  Have you inspected them lately?

This issue of the Double Portion Newsletter will focus on the first three articles of armor.   Next month we will continue with the remaining three.

The Belt of Truth
God revealed to me that the belt of truth is what protects our emotions.  The “gut,” if you will, was considered in Bible times to be the source of emotions.  Even today, we carry on this idea in our language.  We might say we have “a gut feeling” or “I have a knot in my gut.”  What we mean is that we feel a certain emotion; the feeling seems to originate from our stomach area.  To have a belt wrapped around that area means that those emotions are not vulnerable to attack.  But, more importantly, wearing the belt of truth means that what is true or what is real is measured by God's truth, not our feelings.  Our feelings are not an accurate instrument for measuring reality, they are too volatile.  But God's truth prevails as a standard by which all things can be measured.  An important example of this is when people say, “I don't feel forgiven.”  Forgiveness is a fact set forth in God's word, and our feelings do not change that fact!  If you are being guided by your emotions rather than the truth of God's word, is your belt on properly?

The Breastplate of Righteousness
When was the last time you tried to defend yourself based on our own righteousness?  It doesn't work very well, does it?  The Bible says, in Romans 3:22, “This righteousness comes from God through faith in Jesus Christ.”  That verse doesn't say anything about how good I am.  It talks about God, faith, and Jesus.  If I am trying to appear good or righteous based on my own merit, I need to inspect my breastplate!  The breastplate of righteousness is not about our righteousness, it is about the righteousness of Christ.  Because of the cross, we have been given the right to hide behind that breastplate.  Maybe it seems cowardly to hide behind someone else's righteousness.  But then again, wouldn't it seem foolish for a soldier to run into the heat of battle without their flack jacket?

The Shoes
“...and your feet shod with the preparation [readiness] of the gospel of peace.”  This sentence was always a puzzle for me.  I could not figure out what on earth it meant.  From the variety of translations for this verse, I see that I am probably not alone in that struggle.  But what we all agree on is it has something to do with readiness or preparation, and something to do with the gospel.  When I began to meditate on this verse, the Lord gave me a picture of a Roman soldier sitting in his barracks, wearing all of his armor except for his shoes.  His commander called him from outside, to aid in an urgent situation.  But all he could do was stand up and look at his bare feet, knowing that by the time he got his shoes on, he may be too late.  He had failed his commander because he was not ready.  What has God called us to do? 2 Corinthians 5:18-20 says, “All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting the message of reconciliation to us.  So we are ambassadors for Christ, since God is making his appeal through us; we entreat you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.”  Have you ever shied away from an opportunity to share the gospel with someone?  Inspect your shoes.  Are you ready for the next opportunity?

Next month, we will look at the remaining three pieces of armor – the shield, helmet, and sword.

In the wake of recent events, I'm sure you'll forgive the absence of September's newsletter.  My spirit tells me that nothing will be the same for any of us, and that's probably a good thing.  If there is anything good in tragedy, it is the reminder that we are mortal, that our priorities need to be re-evaluated, that we don't have all the time in the world, that the people we love need to be told and shown that.  We remember, if we have forgotten, that we need God every minute of every day, because we really just don't know what the future holds.  Let me challenge you to allow your life to get back to normal - but not completely.  If you sought God harder on September 11th than you did on September 10th, remember that, and continue seeking.  If you prayed harder, continue praying; if you spoke to neighbors and friends about the Lord, continue speaking.  Ephesians 5 cautions us, "Be very careful, then, how you live--not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil."  How true.

This is a good time to remember that our battle is not against flesh and blood, so before jumping into our battle gear of shield, helmet, and sword, let's review what we discussed last time.

Ephesians 6 says, "Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.  Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.  In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.  Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

- The armor of God belongs to God, and comes from God - we must entrust God with showing us how to wear it.
- We must inspect our armor, so we are prepared for battle, and the armor can serve its intended purpose.
- The belt of truth protects our emotions and distinguishes between the reality of God's word and our perception.
- The Breastplate of Righteousness speaks not of our own righteousness, but “This righteousness comes from God through faith in Jesus Christ.” (Rom. 3:22)
- The Shoes give us the readiness and preparation to share the gospel.  We need to be ready for any opportunity.

Now, on to the shield, helmet, and sword.

The Shield of Faith – I like that this passage says the shield “quenches” the flaming arrows, it doesn't say it just repels them.  In order for a shield to quench arrows, a couple of things must occur.  First of all, the leather that was used to make shields was prepared with oil, so that it was flexible, but also somewhat moist.  A dry shield would ignite.  But something else was required.  Before battle, the shields were immersed in water.  If the shields were only prepared with oil, that would be fuel for the flame.  But if they were also soaked in water, they were ready to be used in battle, and able to quench the flaming arrows.  The flaming arrows that hit a prepared shield would not ignite the shield, nor would they just bounce off to ignite the brush.  They would meet with the oil and water-soaked shield and fizzle out.  In the Bible, oil and water are representative of God's Spirit.  In order for our faith to be an effective defense for us, we must be prepared by and immersed in the Holy Spirit.  When something the enemy fires at you “sticks” to you, or bounces off you, but causes problems for those around you, you need to take a look at your shield.  When our hearts become dry and inflexible, we must surrender ourselves to the rubbing and working of the Holy Spirit, until we become pliable again.

The Helmet of Salvation – Along with our righteousness, another fact that we sometimes cloud with our feelings is our salvation.  I have heard people say, “How do I know that I'm saved?” or “I don't think God could save me, I've done too many bad things,” or worse, people may have believed their salvation at one time, and then began to doubt it for various reasons.  The helmet of salvation is intended to protect us against the enemy's scheme to convince us we're not saved, we're not good enough to be saved, or maybe we were once but after that screw up we surely lost it.  When that happens, and we are not able to shrug it off or immediately silence the enemy with God's word, we need to ask ourselves if our helmet is fastened on tightly.  Jesus said, in John 10:27-28, "My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.  I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand."  That's a solid helmet.

The Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God – Today, when we think of the word of God, we usually think of the Bible.  In Paul's day, the equivalent of our Bible was a collection of scrolls.  It is interesting to me that Paul did not say, “…which is the scrolls,” or “…which is the scriptures.”  In the New Testament Greek, there are two primary words translated as “word,” for which we have no distinction in English.  One is “logos,” which refers a written or fixed word.  The other, used here, is “rhema.”  A “rhema” word, sometimes called a “now” word, is the living word of God for the present time.  A similar distinction in our language might be used for the word “comment.”  An editor might submit a comment for print in a magazine.  If that editor is in a business meeting later and says, “Let me comment on that issue,” she is not going to pull out the article she wrote to read the comment.  She is going to speak to a particular situation, for a particular time, from her heart.  One comment is written and static, the other is spoken and fluid.

The reason I dwell on this is that God taught me that both uses of "word" are involved here.  The sword of the Spirit is the rhema word; the word which enables us in a given situation to say, “Satan, hands off!  I'm a child of God!”  But we cannot have the rhema word without the logos word.  The written scripture is the source of God's living word to us, and the standard against which any revelation is measured.  If the word is not supported by scripture, it is not a rhema word.  The illustration given to me for this is that the logos word is the sheath in which the rhema word is kept.  The sword of the rhema word must be surrounded by and grounded in the logos word.  If I am not spending time reading and studying the Bible, my sword of the spirit is not in its proper place.  And when a sword is not sheathed, it can become dull and rusty, and ultimately of no use.  So when the enemy attacks, I have no sword of the spirit to use, because I have not been immersed in the written word of God.

Now, more than ever, I join Paul in urging you to don this armor.  Its purpose is for our protection against the enemy, but it does no good hanging in a locker somewhere.  We have to make a choice.  We must choose to wear the armor - choose God's truth over our feelings, Jesus' righteousness instead of our own, readiness, rather than reluctance, to share our witness, faith in God, from hearts made pliable by the Holy Spirit.  We must choose to receive and believe our salvation, and immerse ourselves in the word of God.  Our enemy has not been on the sidelines, or taking a nap, as has become obvious recently.   Knowing he is not long for this world, he has been waging vicious war against God's precious people.  Don't be one of the victims.  Put on the full armor of God, that you may stand your ground.

My guitar strings talked to me today.  Well, not literally - don't get scared.  But I did receive some insight about life from those strings.  We are very much like guitar strings.  What?  How so?  Let me tell you what the guitar strings told me.

The first thing you may notice about guitar strings is they must be anchored.  Each guitar string is anchored and held in place by a little peg.  Without the anchor, the strings are useless.  In fact, it is such a critical factor that during one road trip to Oregon we hunted for miles until we found a ski/record/instrument store in Yreka California, just so we could buy one of those little pegs that had been lost.  Anchoring is essential.  Like guitar strings, we must be anchored.  Ephesians 3:16-17 says we are to be rooted and grounded in love.  If we do not have love, we are of no use.  It doesn't matter how nice and shiny we look, it doesn't matter how lovely we could sound, if we don't have love, we're useless.  Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13 that regardless of all our gifts and talents, without love we are nothing.

Now, a guitar string can't be anchored just anywhere.  It has to go where it belongs. It has to be in proper alignment with the other strings.  1 Corinthians 12:18 says "God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be."  That sounds like God has a place for you, and only you, and that's where you need to be.  If you, or a guitar string, are in the wrong spot, somewhere down the line that will cause unnecessary tension to you or someone else.  While you're busy trying to fit in someone else's place, your spot goes unfilled, or must be filled by someone not matched to the position.  Instead, if we are hunting for our place in the body, we should ask God, "Where do you want to put me?"  God knows exactly what you are created for, and has a divine purpose for you.

Similarly, the strings must be tuned to the right pitch.  This pitch is derived from an external source, a source that does not waver and change.  The strings cannot be tuned to where they might be most comfortable, or where the guitarist thinks they sound good.  Likewise, we cannot tune ourselves to our own whims and tastes.  We must be tuned to an external, unchanging source – the Word of God.  God’s word alone is our indicator if we are “off pitch” or not.  Sometimes we think that if we’re doing what we know God called us to do, that’s all that’s necessary.  We’ve done our part, so from there on we can do what we want.  But the strings will tell you that even if they are in the right position, but are trying to be something they are not, it will result in discord.  Not only that, but it may cause that string, or another string, to snap!  The strings must be tuned, not so that they are identical, but so that they are complimentary - harmonious - with the others.

This is the miracle of diversity amid unity, that perfect balance of being in agreement with the rest of the body, yet retaining our individual and unique personalities and gifts.  How is this accomplished?  I think Colossians 3:13-16 paints a clear picture:  "Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another.  Forgive as the Lord forgave you.  And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.  Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.  And be thankful.  Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God."  Doesn't that sound like beautiful music?  It is, but...it doesn't happen without some pain.

In order to be properly tuned, a guitar string must be stretched.  It must be subjected to pressure and tension, and so must we.  "Wait a minute! - I'm showing love, I'm where I belong, I'm getting along with people - doesn't that mean I get a break?"  Sure, you can have a break, as soon as you want to stop being used by God.  If my guitar strings wanted to speak to me, they might say, "Hey!  Enough with the tension already!  I'm fine where I am!"  I might respond, "I know how much stress you can take, because you were designed that way.  Trust me, you won't snap."  And if the mouthy guitar strings continued its objection, and refused to be stretched any further, I might have to say, "I'm sorry.  I can't use you if you won't let me stretch you.  I'll have to get a replacement that is more cooperative."  I know it may sound harsh, but my strings insisted that I tell you this.  Romans 5:3-4 says "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."  That word "sufferings" not only means troubles, but also pressure and distress.  God uses our stress, our pressure, our suffering to produce perseverance and character in us, which gives us hope.

You see, if my string would trust me and let itself be tuned, it would find it can actually sustain that pressure for a long, long time.  And the next time I start turning that knob, winding it tighter, it will be able to relax and let it happen, knowing that it is for the best.  There is a perfect balance where a string is not too taut, and not too lax.  We have that potential as well.  If God "lays off" of us too long, we can become lax and lazy.  We stop growing.  We begin to get out of tune with our brothers and sisters.  The beautiful music we once played starts to sound a little sour.  But, take heart, because our loving creator knows how much we can take. There is a point at which we will snap, but God knows where that point is even better than we do, and God will never ask us to stretch that far.

There's one more thing - a string needs to be trimmed (ouch!).  If is not trimmed, it can be dangerous (ever been jabbed with a guitar string? - yeow!) and it can interfere with the other strings.  When strings aren't trimmed, they can rub up against the other strings and cause a nasty buzz.  We don't want to be people that cause a nasty buzz as we rub against others, so we must let God trim off our loose ends.  John 15:2 says that God prunes us, his branches.  Why?  Because He doesn't like us?  No, he prunes us so we will bear fruit.  I don't know about you, but I think my life could use a little more love, joy, peace, patience...shall I go on?  If we want those things in our lives, we have to submit ourselves to the trimming.
Sometimes we might be screaming to God, "I need peace!"  And when God comes along with those big pruning shears we say, "Aaaagh!  Get those away from me!!!"  Then God just smiles at us and says, "You asked me for peace.  But if you want that to grow in your life, I must prune away anxiety and control."

Let's learn a lesson from the guitar strings.  Let's be people who are thoroughly grounded in God's love, who let God place us where we need to be and come alongside our fellow believers without complaining or envy.  And let's go a step further.  Let's willingly place ourselves in God's loving hands to stretch us and trim us, until we are exactly the right pitch, which no sharp ends sticking out, in perfect harmony with God and others.

Now that's a joyful noise!

This month, I've been led of the Lord just to share what's on my heart - some of the things the Lord has been doing in me, and probably in you.  I don't know if your congregation celebrates Lent or not, but regardless of whether the season has a name, we all experience times when God turns up the heat some.  Do you know what happens to metal when the heat is turned up?  All the impurities float to the surface.  As much as we'd like to hope they sink to the bottom, never to be seen again, they don't.  They rise to the top, for us, and often others, to see.  But I do believe God gives us grace in these times, because the refining happens in stages.  If we're willing and aware, we can use these times wisely and for our maximum benefit.

In the beginning, there will come a moment when we see our sin, but no one else does.  This is the ideal time to get into agreement with God and allow him to slough off all that ugliness.  It is what God intends.  Sometimes, when we let this moment pass and our sin is exposed, we may cry to God, "How could you let this happen?"  God will gently smile and say, "I didn't, child.  You did.  I showed you your sin months ago, but you chose to ignore it."  God's perfect plan is never that our sin will cause embarrassment or detriment to ourselves or others.  God shows us in private, and lovingly longs for us to say, "Ah...I see that now...I'm sorry."  We need to deal with it in the private chambers while we can.  Let's be receptive to God's gentle prodding - better yet, let's ask for it.  "Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts.  See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." (Ps. 139:23-24)

If we fail to answer God's calling in this time of mercy, we will move into the next phase, when our sins our semi-private.  This is still an extension of God's grace.  God may reveal our sin to someone close to us.  Someone we trust, and who loves us.  This happened with King David, when the prophet Nathan came to him and said, "I'm on to you." (my paraphrase)  God, in his infinite mercy, uses the wisdom of others to show us where we are off track.  It is the time when our sin is exposed - not in public, and not with ridicule or judgment - but gently and semi-privately.  God uses these people whom we love and trust to pull back the covers a little and say, "You think you're hiding, but you're not."  How blessed that God puts us in the perfect place to fulfill the command of James 5:16, "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."  I emphasize here, "...that you may be healed."  How is it that the enemy convinces us that our confession to another will bring judgment and criticism?  God says the opposite - it brings healing.  And it prevents us from moving to the next phase.

When we have rejected God's grace to this point, we put ourselves in a position of public exposure.  Now, God doesn't suddenly thrust us into the limelight and say, "Look at this foul creature!"  Remember, God's been gracious all along.  But God's grace requires that the flame be increased, so the impurities will rise to the point that we can see them.  If we choose not to, they will continue to rise to the point that a select few others will see them.  At this point, if we are unwilling to come into agreement with God, we have entered into rebellion.  Rebellion is a direct rejection of God's grace.  God hasn't stopped offering it, but we have stopped receiving it.  Oh, brothers and sisters - don't go there! The people of Israel had those trusted friends also.  They were the prophets.  And the prophet Isaiah wrote in chapter 55, verses 6-7, "Seek the LORD while he may be found; call on him while he is near.  Let the wicked forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the LORD, and he will have mercy on him, and to our God, for he will freely pardon."

Lord, thank you for your infinite mercy.  Help us to hear you when you call, and not turn our heads away from you.  We know that you love us and want what's best for us.  Remind us Lord, that when we confess our sins you are faithful and just to forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)  Lord, we come into agreement with you now during this season of cleansing.  Lord, we invite you now to show us our sin in the inner chamber, so we can lay it on the altar right then and there, and not leave your presence carrying it.  Thank you that where we fail in this, you have given us people who can restore us gently.  Lord, have mercy on us.  Amen.

Grab the Band-Aids - this one might hurt!  Of course, if you've gotten past the title and read this far, you must be at least curious how I could put "blessing" and "brokenness" in the same sentence!  So, be brave and read on....

Would you agree that closeness to God is a blessing?  Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." When we see the word "brokenhearted," we might think "heartbroken."  We might read this verse and think, how reassuring to know that God is close to those who's hearts have been broken by circumstances or by other people.  I would not say that this is not true; I think God does comfort those who are heartbroken.  But if we stop there, we will miss something very important God is trying to tell us.  You see, the word "brokenhearted" is also used in Psalm 51, but it is in a different context.  In verse 17, David says, "The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise."  This verse can also be translated "My sacrifice, O God, is a broken spirit."  A sacrifice is not something that has been done to us, it is something that we offer to God.  A sacrifice costs something; it means giving up something to which we have claimed ownership.  For David, it meant giving up his pride.  He had to give up his belief that he was A-OK and be willing to see himself as God saw him.  Are we willing to do that?  Are we willing to be broken?

For us, "broken" is a negative word.  "Heartbroken" or "brokenhearted" mean that someone has hurt us, maybe betrayed us, and we are in pain.  When we have no money, we say we are "broke."  When our appliances "break," we either throw them out or have them repaired.  And when someone just can't cope with their life any longer, we say they've had a "breakdown."  For us, when something is broken, that means it is malfunctioning or altogether useless.  But that's OUR view.  Let's turn our head around for a moment and look at God's view.

As far as God is concerned, brokenness is attractive.  It makes God want to get up close, and it is a pleasing sacrifice.  But since that's so foreign to our way of thinking, I'm going to give you some examples of things in God's word which were only useful after they were broken.

I'm sure we're all familiar with the story of Gideon, of his fleeces (fleeci? - just kidding), and his ever-dwindling army.  Here's what happened in Judges 7:19-22: "Gideon and the hundred men with him reached the edge of the camp at the beginning of the middle watch, just after they had changed the guard. They blew their trumpets and broke the jars that were in their hands. The three companies blew the trumpets and smashed the jars. Grasping the torches in their left hands and holding in their right hands the trumpets they were to blow, they shouted, "A sword for the LORD and for Gideon!"  While each man held his position around the camp, all the Midianites ran, crying out as they fled. When the three hundred trumpets sounded, the LORD caused the men throughout the camp to turn on each other with their swords. The army fled to Beth Shittah toward Zererah as far as the border of Abel Meholah near Tabbath."  Did you see that?  They broke the jars that were in their hands, allowing the light of the torches to shine.  The Midianite camp must have lit up like the 4th of July, and it caused Israel's enemies to turn on themselves, and then run away with their tails between their legs.  So, what does that have to do with us?  I'm not a pitcher.  Oh, really?  What did God use to create Adam?  Dust.  Dirt.  What is clay?  Dust.  Dirt.  So, you may not be a clay pitcher, but you've got a lot in common with one.  In fact, if you look closely at 2 Corinthians 4:6-7, you will see an interesting parallel.  "For God, who said, 'Let light shine out of darkness,'  made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Christ.  But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."  We have the treasure in what?  Jars of clay.  And what is the treasure?  The light.  Hmm...

The word for "broken" in Psalm 34 and 51 is the same word used for what Gideon's army did to the pitchers.  They didn't gently remove the pitchers, and they didn't lightly chip a little hole in them.  They smashed them.  They crushed them.  They pulverized them.  That's what that word means.  The Hebrew word means to destroy, break in pieces, break down, hurt, to be torn, rend violently, wreck, crush, quench, rupture, be maimed, be crippled, to shatter.  Can you say OUCH!!!!!?  Now, take a deep breath, and stay with me - remember, you've got the Band-Aids handy, right?  Why on earth would God want me to be in that condition?  Because if I'm not, His light doesn't shine through me.  Do you think if Gideon's men had made a little hole in the pitcher, and just turned it around when the trumpet call came, that it would have had the same impact on the Midianite army?  I don't.  In order to have the most impact, in order to cause the enemy to be utterly destroyed, the pitchers had to be completely crushed.  Some of you are still thinking, "Well, I don't receive that!  The Bible says I'm pressed but not crushed."  Yes, from the outside.  You're right, you can't be crushed from the outside.  Do you know why?  Because you're already supposed to be crushed, voluntarily, from the inside.  And when that happens, there's really nothing left for the enemy to work with.  You see, the first blessing of brokenness is that it allows the light of Jesus to permeate and radiate from every part of us.  The enemy sees that and shrieks in horror as all his attacks are turned back on himself.  There is tremendous power in brokenness.

Now, let's look at another broken container.  This was the one holding the fragrant perfume used to anoint Jesus before his death.  This story is found in all of the gospels, with some variations as to the where and how.  The fact that the story is reiterated by all the gospel writers should come as no surprise to us.  Her act was so moving to Jesus, he said, "I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her." (Matthew 26:13; Mark 14:9)  Let's look at the whole story, using Mark's version:

"While he was in Bethany, reclining at the table in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, made of pure nard. She broke the jar and poured the perfume on his head.
 Some of those present were saying indignantly to one another, 'Why this waste of perfume? It could have been sold for more than a year's wages and the money given to the poor.' And they rebuked her harshly.  'Leave her alone,' said Jesus. 'Why are you bothering her? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, and you can help them any time you want. But you will not always have me. She did what she could. She poured perfume on my body beforehand to prepare for my burial. I tell you the truth, wherever the gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her.'"

She broke the jar.  She didn't remove the lid and pour a little out.  She smashed it.  Matthew and Mark describe this person only as a woman.  Luke adds that she was a woman who had lived a sinful life.  Her sinful life was well known, and in Luke's story, the comment is made that if Jesus were really a prophet, he would have known what kind of woman she was.  In John, she is revealed to us as Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus.  Let me hypothesize with you a little.  We know that this woman was sinful, and we know that her sins was not hidden, but she was known to others as a sinful woman.  I wonder if she might have been a prostitute.  That would be one kind of woman who's sins might be known to all.  That would be the kind of woman that could afford expensive perfume, even though she apparently had no husband, because she lived with her brother and sister.  Looking at the story from that angle, this jar of perfume may well have been part of her livelihood.  She may have worn that very perfume to attract her customers.  So, it was not only the jar that was broken, it was the woman.  She brought her most valuable possession, the very symbol of her sinful life, and broke it before the Lord.  In doing so, she was saying, "I am broken.  I cannot live the way I have been living, and I don't want to.  I'm coming to you, begging for your forgiveness.  I break this jar, because I don't need it anymore, and I don't want it anymore.  It reminds me of who I used to be.  But I don't want to waste my valuable things on sin anymore.  You're the only one worthy of that which is precious to me.  So, for what it's worth, I give you my life.  My broken, crushed life.  Do what you will."  And Jesus said, "Your sins are forgiven...Your faith has saved you; go in peace." (Luke 36:48, 50)

Can we come to the Lord like that?  Can we come and say, "Everything I have, everything I've been is worthless in comparison to you.  I'm giving it all up, throwing myself at your feet, begging for your mercy.  Have mercy on me, O Lord."  I hope we can.  Because that kind of offering ministers to the Lord, and is a fragrant incense before him.

I have one more thing to compare us to: bread.  The story of Jesus feeding the multitude is also found in all of the gospels; I'll use Matthew's account this time.  The disciples are faced with the quandary of having a throng of people following them.  The sun is setting, and the people are getting hungry.  They recommend that Jesus send the crowds away so they can buy food, but Jesus says, "You give them something to eat."  (Matt. 14:16)  They reply that the only food they have available is five loaves and two fish.  Matt. 14:19-21 tells the rest of the story: "'Bring them here to me,' he said. And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children."

Jesus told the disciples to do something that they deemed impossible.  This assumption is one of the symptoms of un-brokenness.  Brokenness recognizes that Jesus never asks us to do anything impossible, but quite often asks us to do things that are humanly impossible.  But, let's take a look at that bread.  They had five loaves.  Here's a little brain teaser for you: If the loaves remained in tact, how many people could they feed?  Let's say, for the sake of argument, that they're big loaves - loaves like you'd buy at the market.  If you had one person eating from one end, and one person eating from the other, possibly two more people squished in there, gnawing away at each side, that's four people per loaf.  Twenty people total.  If you were to break the bread in half, you still couldn't get four mouths around it, so if you wanted to feed more than twenty people, you'd probably have to break the bread at least into quarters, with two people gnawing on each piece.  But Jesus fed more than five thousand, maybe fifteen or twenty thousand.  How?  He broke the bread.  And he broke it.  And he broke it.  For Jesus, the bread only became useful after it was broken, and the more broken it was, the more useful it was.

But that's not all that happened.  Even if Jesus had broken all that bread into tiny little crumbs, it might have provided enough pieces for each person to have one.  But the scripture doesn't say they all got a piece, it says they all ate and were satisfied.  Brokenness, in the hands of Jesus, creates a miraculous multiplication.  It happened with the bread, and it happens with us as well.  When we bring our brokenness to Jesus, Jesus multiplies what we have and ensures that multitudes are fed through us.  If you're finding that you have a low-impact Christian walk, if the people being ministered to through you are few and far between, ask yourself, "How broken am I?"  The more we allow ourselves to be broken, the more usable we are to the Lord.

When we are broken, the light of Jesus shines and the enemy flees.  When we are broken, it ministers to the Lord as a fragrant sacrifice.  When we are broken, God sets off a miraculous multiplication of resources, to bless the multitudes.

Oh, and the Band-Aids?  Toss them.  Let's make a choice today to stay broken.

Are you preparing to celebrate Dependence Day?  No, not Independence Day - DEpendence day.  You're not familiar with that holiday?  Well, most of us are familiar with Independence Day, celebrated on July 4.  That's the anniversary of the day when the founders of the United States of America composed the Declaration of Independence, asserting their separation and freedom from British rule.

Dependence Day is a little bit different.  That's the day when we as individuals usurp the thrown of pride in our lives and declare our absolute dependency upon God.  And we can celebrate it every day, if we choose to.

Dependence Day is not marked by parades or fireworks.  It is more often marked by calloused knees and trails of tears.  And while at the surface it may not seem like much cause for celebration, I have come to find it is the most wonderful experience in life.

Convincing ourselves that we are not dependent upon God and that we can do it on our own takes so much energy.  It is much like trying to defy the laws of gravity.  Oh, it can be done, sometimes for long periods.  I think of the astronauts in space stations, who spend a great deal of time "defying" gravity.  I use quotation marks because, of course, without gravity the astronauts and their space stations would no longer be in orbit, from which they have some assurance of safe return.  Instead, they would be floating off to who knows where.  Every slight thrust of a rocket would send them hurtling toward the unknown.  But let's take it back to the practical level.  How long can you really defy gravity?  You can try; you can jump in the air, and for a moment, you can say "Ha!  Gravity, I defy you!"  Oops.  Now you're back on the ground again.  Let's just say that someone was rebellious to the core, and insisted on continuing to jump and jump.  Eventually, not only would their feet get back on the ground, but their whole body, as they collapse exhausted in a heap.

Stick with me, because this is exactly what some people try to do with God.  Some people live in their "space stations," where it is almost possible to forget that "gravity" exists.  They don't have to walk on the ground there; they can fly.  And yet, gravity is really what's keeping them alive.  Gravity ensures that they can return to their homes, the source of their food, their love.  Gravity ensures that while they are up there playing, they are well stocked with all the food, fuel, and oxygen they need.  For it is gravity that is keeping the scientists, the technicians, the mechanics on the ground where they belong.  Without gravity, the space station itself could never have been built.  Similarly, people can live, some their whole lives, blissfully ignorant of the very force that allows them to live at all.  It is easy to forget God when a person is content.  They never pray, never acknowledge God, but they have a home, a job, a family.  They have everything they need, and so often forget that all of those things would never exist - THEY would never exist, were it not for God.  In fact, if you're reading this right now, stop for one moment and thank God.  Thank you, God, that I live.  Thank you, God, that I can see.  Thank you, God, that I breathe.  Thank you, God, that my mind is clear enough to thank you.

For others, it is not a question of whether God exists, but whether they will allow God to have relationship with them.  Some, like the poor anti-gravity person, spend a great deal of energy running away from God.  What they don't realize is that, much like gravity, we are created with a sort of magnet inside.  God's love, and our need, are constantly pulling on one another, drawing us into right relationship with our creator.  It takes a great deal of energy to counter that intense love.  And try as we might to avoid the inevitable, eventually all of us will end up laid flat out at God's feet.  Some will be worshipping, some will be weeping in fear, realizing the consequences of their choice to rebel against God.

As for me, I'd rather spend my time and energy on things that build me up as a person, not wear me down.  So I'm making a Declaration of Dependence, today and every day.

Psalm 42:1-2
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

Then Moses said, "Now show me your glory."  And the LORD said, "I will cause all my goodness to pass in front of you, and I will proclaim my name, the LORD , in your presence. I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I will have compassion.  But," he said, "you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live."  Then the LORD said, "There is a place near me where you may stand on a rock.  When my glory passes by, I will put you in a cleft in the rock and cover you with my hand until I have passed by.  Then I will remove my hand and you will see my back; but my face must not be seen."  ...Then the LORD came down in the cloud and stood there with him and proclaimed his name, the LORD .  And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, "The LORD , the LORD , the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin... (Exodus 33:18-23; 34:5-7)

There's an old hymn with these words...

Growing up with that hymn, I always thought of the cleft of the rock as a place of safety and security.  But recently God gave me an "Aha!"  God had put Moses between a rock and a hard place.  The glory of God was revealed to Moses, as never before, while Moses was up against a wall.  Moses was constricted, confined, pressured.  God opened my eyes to see that it is during the times that we feel trapped, when we feel there is no escape, that God's glory is revealed to us.  If our experience in life is limited to the joyful, abundant, and free side, then our experience of God is limited as well.  But I need the fullness of God!  And the God who is good, merciful, compassionate, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness and glorious is revealed to me when I am being squeezed.  It is in those dark, tight spaces when I open my eyes and see that the God of the blessing is still there, still in charge, still God.  

In the darkness, in the cold - that is where I need to be reminded that God is good.  Regardless of my bleak surroundings, God is good, and whatever darkness is there was not created by God.

It is there that I find how merciful God is when I forget to give thanks even in trials.  I am reminded that God is merciful to forgive my fleeting temper tantrums and tirades, and my insistence that things simply must not be this way.  God, in infinite mercy, waits until I've cried myself out, when I am curled up in a spent, angry little ball, and then reaches down and picks me up.  God cradles me in arms of mercy, because that is who God is.

When I am squeezed, the God of compassion comes to me to listen to my tears.  And that same God directs my eyes outward, where I see that there are others being squeezed who need compassion.  Sometimes, God uses me to bring that compassion to them.

God is slow to anger when I am not.  When I am irritated because life is unfair, when I am defensive because I feel I am being cornered, the God who is slow to anger lays a gentle hand on me and says, "Shh...calm down."

I want to see God's glory.  I want to see the fullness of who God is.  So I think I'll look at this tight spot a little differently.  Maybe it's not a place where God has left me alone.  Maybe, if I can settle down long enough, it's the place I'll see God's splendor as never before.

I was reading Psalm 22 this morning and I had an "a-ha" moment.  In verses 1 and 2, it sounds as though we are listening in on David's pity party: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?  Why are you so far from saving me, so far from the words of my groaning? O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, and am not silent."  Have you ever felt that way?  I know I have.  Sometimes you just look around you and think, how could God possibly be in this?  And we convince ourselves that somehow, for some reason (probably some unconfessed sin), God has hit the "do not disturb" button on the phone.  God's secretary is under strict orders to make it clear God is not accepting our calls.  One of the things I love about David is his ability to capture the heart of humanity.  I love the Psalms, because so often when I read them I think to myself, "Whew!  I'm glad I'm not the only one who's felt that way!"

When we get to verse 3, though, it's as if we've suddenly skipped to a different Psalm altogether.  "Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the praise of Israel."  God is still on the throne, regardless of how David feels.  Hmm.  

So, God didn't yawn and say, "Ho-hum, this ruling the universe thing is really wearing on me.  Tell ya what, Satan, how 'bout you cover this throne for a while and I'll go take a nap."  And then God returns to see that in the mean time, David's life has become a shambles.  God didn't say to David, "Oh, wow, I am so sorry I left the throne there and you felt forsaken.  I only turned my back for a minute!  I swear I'll never do it again!"  Do you realize how little our perception of God or our feelings about God actually reflect God?  As far as David was concerned, God was lounging in the Bahamas while David's life was going to pot.  But that's not where God was.  God was still on the throne.  

Well, okay then, if God was still on the throne, then God must be responsible for David's predicament, right?   No, that would be contrary to the nature of a loving God.  The preface to this Psalm is not that God woke up cranky one morning and decided to give David a hard time.  But sometimes we think that way, don't we?  It's not only the pagans who experience the flood or the drought and think the gods must be angry.  We do the same thing.  I got laid off; God must be trying to teach me dependence.  I'm sick; God must be teaching me faith.  When a child trips and skins their knee, their mother may give some loving advice about watching their step.  But what mother sticks their foot out to trip their child so that they can teach them that lesson?  Not a loving one!  And yet, we say of the loving God that our circumstances are given to us so that we will learn from them.   Sometimes we use God's sovereignty as an excuse to blame God for everything that happens to us, when the blame really lies with Satan or foolish people or ourselves!

God taught me something about circumstances in a vision.  I had just experienced something terrible, and Jesus was standing before me weeping and comforting me.  But someone else was there as well.  Satan stood beside me and softly whispered, "God is mad at you.  This would not have happened if God was not mad at you.  You must have done something wrong.  God does not love you, or he would have prevented it."  God told me that Satan does that with every person.  The first bad thing that they experience in life, the enemy comes and tells them it was God's fault.  And when that happens, they can spend the rest of their lives trying to be good enough, to be holy enough, to please God enough that bad things will not happen to them.  Yet try as they might, the bad comes.  Having exhausted every behavioral avenue they can think of, the blame then turns inward.  There just must be something wrong with me.  It's not that I do bad things, it's that I'm a bad person.  That's a difficult lie to overcome.  But I think the reversal of the lie happens the same way the lie began - by shifting the blame back where it belongs.  Satan tries to get the blame onto God or onto ourselves.  Why wouldn't he?  What better way to keep himself from being fingered!

When we recognize that it is not God who brings about evil in our lives, then we remain in a position of power.  Then, we can stand against the circumstance with the knowledge that God is on the throne and loves us.  Our recovery depends on us knowing who is and is not the source of our pain.  A surgeon cannot treat back pain by blindly operating on an eye.  The surgeon must run tests, and be able to zero in on the source of the pain - the bulging disc.  Until that problem is treated, the pain continues, and is even compounded by unsuccessful attempts to squelch it.

So, if I could take the liberty to answer David's question: "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?"  I hear God saying, "David, I haven't forsaken you.  The question is, why do you feel forsaken, when I am right here?  The enemy is trying to deceive you.  Stop listening."